She was my first real friend, we met in first grade. Her grandfather taught us how to do the Irish jig. Dressing up in our moms' clothes and high heels... Swinging on the swings at the school across the street from ours, talking about how dumb all this growing up stuff was.

I was the tomboy nerd; she the fashion princess. We would grow apart over time, our interests and directions just too far apart. I haven't seen her in a long time, but when I heard she died last week, it hit me hard.

As different as we were, parts of us were also the same. Tonight I'm wearing mascara - not something I usually do, but something that just felt right tonight.

Transitions

I remember sitting in my Metaphysics final exam, spring semester, senior year of college, last exam. I had finished the exam. Once I turned it in, I would be a college graduate (modulo a ceremony). I sat there with my exam a good long while. I seriously contemplated not turning it in. The only way I could fail the course would be on the technicality of not turning in the final - that would give me an FX in that course. Then I wouldn't have to graduate. I wasn't sure I wanted to let go - I wasn't sure I was ready. I loved my college, and my four years there were precious. But once this exam was done, I was done...

So I guess I like to hang on to things. We're in that part of 8.5 where we are doing the hard triage. Some of the bugs are clear, we have to fix them. Others are not so clear - the ones that show up when you stand on one foot, under a full moon and the wind is blowing from the east. I cling to each bug as if it were that final exam. There are some very patient souls triaging with me :-)

But it's nearing time to let go, turn in the exam. There's the next round to think of, new features to build, thoughts to complete.

I did turn in my exam that day, and I did go on to grad school. I am working on the list of next things for Designer. But first I'm going to fix this one bug....