Today I participated in an internal career event where I served on a panel explaining how I got to "where I am." I was somewhat stunned to even be asked to be on such a panel. I can't say I have a career plan, and I certainly have not taken anywhere near the standard path to architect. My style is certainly winging it - maybe they wanted to show that there are many paths for many different people.... Chemistry major -> Chemistry grad school -> tech writer -> software engineer -> software architect.
I learned relatively early on that I have to follow my heart. If I don't care passionately about what I am doing, I don't invest the energy to do my best work. That may make me a spoiled brat, but it's how my mind works and I just have learned to stop trying to second guess my instincts...
I don't feel the need to climb the ladder per se, what I really want is to get better and better at engineering, and to learn more and more. And I like to have a say in the product that I am building :-) Whatever falls out from that is fine with me. The point for me is to stay happy, to always grow and learn, and to build something I really care about. That is all I need.
So my career decisions have been primarily focused on what I found interesting. My definition of my career success is that I have managed to work on many projects that I really believe in and care deeply about. ViP, Domino Designer, Workplace Designer... I still like what I'm doing now, so I'm not even thinking about "next." The experts may say I should be thinking five years down the line, but I like surprises. Maybe I will be on Workplace Designer v17 by then, maybe there will be something new. But I will make all the career decisions from now til then with my heart.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Blueberry will ride again!
She's fixable, no frame damage. Expensive enough to be painful, but still less than you can get a replacement used Camry wagon for (they stopped making them in 96, and their resale reflects their rarity). Not that Blueberry could ever be replaced.
So we said go to the body shop.
She will be an island car when she's done. Driving maybe 5K miles a year, she should last a good long time. Though my son has already been trying to stake his claim. I will probably have to find the heart to let him drive Blueberry again, but it's going to be really difficult.
But I will be the first to drive her again!
So we said go to the body shop.
She will be an island car when she's done. Driving maybe 5K miles a year, she should last a good long time. Though my son has already been trying to stake his claim. I will probably have to find the heart to let him drive Blueberry again, but it's going to be really difficult.
But I will be the first to drive her again!
Monday, March 13, 2006
balance
As my working life progresses, I'm finding an increasing tension between architecting and coding. My problem is that I love both. My managers would be perfectly happy if I spent my entire day architecting. But I would be miserable without that real connection to code.
Code grounds me and connects me to the project in a way that architecting does not. And I tend to do my best architecting *while* I'm coding. Coding puts me in an almost meditative state of mind where I can do my best work. I think this breaks traditional rules of design first, code second, but coding puts me in the moment and lets me see the issues all in context.
And I love the creative control of architecture. I moved to coding from technical writing partially because I wanted to have a say in *what* got built before it was too late. I want to figure out what features belong, what features fit, how we can best solve customer needs, etc. I want to design. I don't want to code someone else's design, I want to code my own!
I would posit that you really can't architect without also coding. If I had only been an architect on Workplace Designer rather than coder and architect, I would not have had the skills to know what could be done - I needed to retrain in Eclipse and Java, to get that connection to what's real.
So I am going to have to be a rebel and be a coding architect.
Code grounds me and connects me to the project in a way that architecting does not. And I tend to do my best architecting *while* I'm coding. Coding puts me in an almost meditative state of mind where I can do my best work. I think this breaks traditional rules of design first, code second, but coding puts me in the moment and lets me see the issues all in context.
And I love the creative control of architecture. I moved to coding from technical writing partially because I wanted to have a say in *what* got built before it was too late. I want to figure out what features belong, what features fit, how we can best solve customer needs, etc. I want to design. I don't want to code someone else's design, I want to code my own!
I would posit that you really can't architect without also coding. If I had only been an architect on Workplace Designer rather than coder and architect, I would not have had the skills to know what could be done - I needed to retrain in Eclipse and Java, to get that connection to what's real.
So I am going to have to be a rebel and be a coding architect.
Sunday, March 12, 2006
long may she run
Blueberry, as she is affectionately known, is my 1994 Camry wagon. I am unreasonably attached to her. Last summer, our son was in an accident that smashed in her hood and broke the radiator, the grill, and the left quarterpanel is pushed backwards. Major damage, except that he hit something tall, so it is all damage high enough to be away from frame stuff (we believe).
The debate has raged all fall and winter about whether or not to repair a car with 173000 miles on it. Today, her winter of waiting is over - she was towed to a body shop. Stasis has ended. I hope they tell us tomorrow that the cost to repair her is within reason. Though reason may not be the right word in this case.
Early this week the decision will be made. I am certainly leaning towards repairing her. But if nothing else, motion feels good. Wondering back and forth is tiring - spring is in the air, and it's time for life to begin again.
The debate has raged all fall and winter about whether or not to repair a car with 173000 miles on it. Today, her winter of waiting is over - she was towed to a body shop. Stasis has ended. I hope they tell us tomorrow that the cost to repair her is within reason. Though reason may not be the right word in this case.
Early this week the decision will be made. I am certainly leaning towards repairing her. But if nothing else, motion feels good. Wondering back and forth is tiring - spring is in the air, and it's time for life to begin again.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Still standing
The last month has been intense, to say the least. My mom has been sick, Lotusphere, the arrival of a new puppy and the hopefully temporary arrival of my mother's dog, lots of code to design and write....
One at a time....
Lotusphere. It was an amazing experience, as always. I was heartbroken that the OGS demo didn't go as I practiced it. Had there been anything I could have reasonably done from the stage to fix it, I would have. The machine I was working on needed to have its client drive mapped, and that would have just been ugly to do on stage and would have taken the time I needed to demo the next release (the general session was packed full of demos, and there was no time to borrow!). I tried to fall back to the previous deployment, but a demo reset after the last practice had been done incorrectly, and that path failed, too. Fortunately the demo of the next release went well.
Though it was painful to not have Workplace Designer 2.6 not be able to shine as it should, the experience did show me the kindness in our customers. Throughout the week, I was stopped in the hall and told very kind things about how I handled it, how they knew it really worked, etc. Feeling the support of this community really helped me recover from the disappointment!
And as always, I return from Lotusphere both exhausted and recharged. There are so many things to do - and I always want to do them all immediately. But focus helps, so I'll tackle 'em one at a time.
The new puppy, Batman, (my sons named him...) is now 11 weeks old and arrived a week ago. He's very cute, and I love the way he takes on life with gusto. He is beginning to sleep through the night, but we're still going through almost a roll of paper towels a day. My mom's dog is spoiled rotten; I can't wait for her to get strong enough to bring Abby back to her....
Need to get back to my code now :-)
One at a time....
Lotusphere. It was an amazing experience, as always. I was heartbroken that the OGS demo didn't go as I practiced it. Had there been anything I could have reasonably done from the stage to fix it, I would have. The machine I was working on needed to have its client drive mapped, and that would have just been ugly to do on stage and would have taken the time I needed to demo the next release (the general session was packed full of demos, and there was no time to borrow!). I tried to fall back to the previous deployment, but a demo reset after the last practice had been done incorrectly, and that path failed, too. Fortunately the demo of the next release went well.
Though it was painful to not have Workplace Designer 2.6 not be able to shine as it should, the experience did show me the kindness in our customers. Throughout the week, I was stopped in the hall and told very kind things about how I handled it, how they knew it really worked, etc. Feeling the support of this community really helped me recover from the disappointment!
And as always, I return from Lotusphere both exhausted and recharged. There are so many things to do - and I always want to do them all immediately. But focus helps, so I'll tackle 'em one at a time.
The new puppy, Batman, (my sons named him...) is now 11 weeks old and arrived a week ago. He's very cute, and I love the way he takes on life with gusto. He is beginning to sleep through the night, but we're still going through almost a roll of paper towels a day. My mom's dog is spoiled rotten; I can't wait for her to get strong enough to bring Abby back to her....
Need to get back to my code now :-)
Monday, January 16, 2006
less than a week....
Lotusphere consumes January every year (not to mention bits of December!) Preparing talks, demos, making sure the code is ready, hectic days, so not much blogging of late. All this preparation is both stressful and envigorating.
But I'm excited. It may sound corny, but connecting with customers is what gets me through the rest of the year. To find out how we may have helped, what we need to do better, what's really important, and what can wait a bit. Worth every bit of the stress of preparation, Lotusphere centers me.
I used to be very nervous about presenting, and to some extent, I still am. But then I read an amazing little book by Livingston Taylor called Stage Performance http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671039717/103-0699144-3112631?v=glance&n=283155. Now I'm an engineer, not a stage performer, but what that book drove into my head was that any stage fright was about *me* and that my main concern as a speaker was my audience. So now when I feel that fear, I can pretty quickly control it with putting things in perspective. And get back to getting that demo in shape :-)
But I'm excited. It may sound corny, but connecting with customers is what gets me through the rest of the year. To find out how we may have helped, what we need to do better, what's really important, and what can wait a bit. Worth every bit of the stress of preparation, Lotusphere centers me.
I used to be very nervous about presenting, and to some extent, I still am. But then I read an amazing little book by Livingston Taylor called Stage Performance http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0671039717/103-0699144-3112631?v=glance&n=283155. Now I'm an engineer, not a stage performer, but what that book drove into my head was that any stage fright was about *me* and that my main concern as a speaker was my audience. So now when I feel that fear, I can pretty quickly control it with putting things in perspective. And get back to getting that demo in shape :-)
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
Why don't I care?
I've written code in Java, C++, C, PL/1, Pascal, Wang VS Assembler (clone of IBM 360/370 assembler), Fortran, and Basic. And I'm sure I'll learn new languages soon, because, like many others, I'm sensing that Java's reign is waning.
I'm obviously not a compiler engineer, because when I look back at the code I've written, I don't really focus on what language it was written in, but what the program did, and how it made people's lives better in some small way. I can't really say I prefer any of the above languages, except maybe they're all faster than Assembler, as that could get tedious (though the tedium was sometimes rewarded by being able to do something with particular Yankee efficiency).
I get frustrated when reviewing resumes with people who say that the candidate "must have" Java. I'd far prefer a C programmer who writes clear and beautiful code than someone who knows Java maybe a bit too well and is focused on playing silly language tricks that obfuscate the code. Just as in human languages, it doesn't matter what language is being used to express the thought, it's the thought that matters. And in engineering, clear and simple thought yields (in my opinion) the best code.
I didn't always feel this way. Is it cynicism? I don't think so, but maybe. I used to worry that I'd be out of date, unmarketable if I didn't make the jump from PL/1 to C, and the other language transitions after that.
Or maybe it's just evidence of the subspecialties in software engineering. Some English majors specialize in linguistics; others in literature. I'm glad the linguists are out there, because someone needs to make sure these languages parse and make sense. If I have to learn a new language soon, ok, bring it on. But until then, I prefer the literature :-)
I'm obviously not a compiler engineer, because when I look back at the code I've written, I don't really focus on what language it was written in, but what the program did, and how it made people's lives better in some small way. I can't really say I prefer any of the above languages, except maybe they're all faster than Assembler, as that could get tedious (though the tedium was sometimes rewarded by being able to do something with particular Yankee efficiency).
I get frustrated when reviewing resumes with people who say that the candidate "must have" Java. I'd far prefer a C programmer who writes clear and beautiful code than someone who knows Java maybe a bit too well and is focused on playing silly language tricks that obfuscate the code. Just as in human languages, it doesn't matter what language is being used to express the thought, it's the thought that matters. And in engineering, clear and simple thought yields (in my opinion) the best code.
I didn't always feel this way. Is it cynicism? I don't think so, but maybe. I used to worry that I'd be out of date, unmarketable if I didn't make the jump from PL/1 to C, and the other language transitions after that.
Or maybe it's just evidence of the subspecialties in software engineering. Some English majors specialize in linguistics; others in literature. I'm glad the linguists are out there, because someone needs to make sure these languages parse and make sense. If I have to learn a new language soon, ok, bring it on. But until then, I prefer the literature :-)
Monday, December 26, 2005
next year....
I will not wait until two days before Christmas to start shopping for Christmas. I will not wait for two days before Christmas to go out and get a tree.
I will try to balance things better between project deadlines and caring for my family. I will *enjoy* the holiday rather than approach it as a vast to-do list.
Amazingly, even with such a late start, we were in the end ready for Christmas. But I feel like I missed it for all the rush.
When I was a teenager, my mother and I would go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, and I had a shearling muff that I would wear only that night - I suppose much of this is yearning for days of less responsibility, but I missed looking at the clear Christmas Eve sky with my hands warm in my muff. I missed the quiet and stillness of those nights.
The stillness is still there - I know it. I need to be still within, and that is so hard to do with all the commotion of a family and a career. I used to love Christmas Eve. I used to know how to relax and enjoy. This coming year, I will remember. I am going to find another muff. And this moment, I am going to close my laptop and bake Christmas cookies for my kids.
I will try to balance things better between project deadlines and caring for my family. I will *enjoy* the holiday rather than approach it as a vast to-do list.
Amazingly, even with such a late start, we were in the end ready for Christmas. But I feel like I missed it for all the rush.
When I was a teenager, my mother and I would go to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve, and I had a shearling muff that I would wear only that night - I suppose much of this is yearning for days of less responsibility, but I missed looking at the clear Christmas Eve sky with my hands warm in my muff. I missed the quiet and stillness of those nights.
The stillness is still there - I know it. I need to be still within, and that is so hard to do with all the commotion of a family and a career. I used to love Christmas Eve. I used to know how to relax and enjoy. This coming year, I will remember. I am going to find another muff. And this moment, I am going to close my laptop and bake Christmas cookies for my kids.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
The world ain't slowing down....
The Google thing has bothered me for a while - one company having so much data - what we think (blogs), what we're looking for (search), our mail (gmail), where we're going (maps), etc. At first people thought I was crazy, after all their motto is don't be evil... But driving to Maryland, I was listening to NPR, and heard an interview with one of the authors of this amazing short video:
http://www.idorosen.com/mirrors/robinsloan.com/epic/
This is different from my worries in many ways. But you have to ask, what is the future we're asking for? We should be careful, because we may get it....
http://www.idorosen.com/mirrors/robinsloan.com/epic/
This is different from my worries in many ways. But you have to ask, what is the future we're asking for? We should be careful, because we may get it....
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Puppies!!
My field spaniel Georgia had her first litter yesterday morning - 2 boys and 1 girl. The two boys are black, the girl is liver and tan. I was going to try really hard not to keep one, but I think I'm going to keep one of the boys (and Georgia's co-owner and breeder will be keeping the other two).
This picture was taken when they were about 12 hours old. I haven't seen them in person yet - if Georgia sees me, she may think her work is done and it's time to go home, and she does still need to take care of them for a little bit longer!
It was a worry this week, wondering if everything would go ok, but everything went well and Georgia was a champ! Which of course she is: http://www.westminsterkennelclub.org/2005/results/breed/fieldspa.html
Sunday, November 13, 2005
two and a walnut
A week later, Raz is still huddled in the corner of the cage, now sitting on two eggs and a walnut. The walnut is right in there with the eggs. They are very close in size, and she must have just decided it was an egg, too....
I am getting worried - when is this going to stop?
On another front, (real) puppies are imminent. Our field spaniel, Georgia, who went to Westminster last February is due to deliver any time this week. I am trying very hard NOT to want to keep one - we have five dogs, that's really more than enough. I just know that I am going to melt when I see them....
Trying to be strong...
I am getting worried - when is this going to stop?
On another front, (real) puppies are imminent. Our field spaniel, Georgia, who went to Westminster last February is due to deliver any time this week. I am trying very hard NOT to want to keep one - we have five dogs, that's really more than enough. I just know that I am going to melt when I see them....
Trying to be strong...
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
The W word
So I don't like wizards. Those who work with me know this well. It's one of those things I feel deeply about.... One of my hot buttons.
Wizards have become fairly ubiquitous - to the point where sometimes you have to take a stand to *not* do a wizard. Especially when dealing with Eclipse UIs, where wizards rule the day.
But to me, a visual development tool is, well, visual. Wizards are a fill in the blank experience, not visual at all. They just don't fit - it's a bad feeling to have a wizard mixed in with drag and drop stuff - oil and water, a sense of not belonging. There is definitely a *feel* to a program, a piece of software. In a fluid drag and drop experience, a wizard (to me, anway) is jarring.
When you are filling out a wizard, the program is telling you what to do, taking you down a prescribed path. The wizard is in charge, not the user. The point of course is to make the process easier - but I think the first question to ask is what is wrong with the design in the first place that the user can't navigate it him/herself? And once the user is finished, the user has to deal with what has been created, presumably then in a dynamic way, as relaunching the wizard wouldn't feel as natural on an existing object. So the dynamic editing experience also needs to be built, and it needs to be excellent - and a good measure of how excellent it is is often if the artifact could be easily built from scratch using it.
I guess I just don't like programs telling me what to do...
Wizards have become fairly ubiquitous - to the point where sometimes you have to take a stand to *not* do a wizard. Especially when dealing with Eclipse UIs, where wizards rule the day.
But to me, a visual development tool is, well, visual. Wizards are a fill in the blank experience, not visual at all. They just don't fit - it's a bad feeling to have a wizard mixed in with drag and drop stuff - oil and water, a sense of not belonging. There is definitely a *feel* to a program, a piece of software. In a fluid drag and drop experience, a wizard (to me, anway) is jarring.
When you are filling out a wizard, the program is telling you what to do, taking you down a prescribed path. The wizard is in charge, not the user. The point of course is to make the process easier - but I think the first question to ask is what is wrong with the design in the first place that the user can't navigate it him/herself? And once the user is finished, the user has to deal with what has been created, presumably then in a dynamic way, as relaunching the wizard wouldn't feel as natural on an existing object. So the dynamic editing experience also needs to be built, and it needs to be excellent - and a good measure of how excellent it is is often if the artifact could be easily built from scratch using it.
I guess I just don't like programs telling me what to do...
ok, it's gone too far now
I just got an email from my son - autogenerated from his birthday wishlist from amazon.
With such salient phrases as "as kids"(as in when we were...) and signed "best wishes"....
So he's made an automated gift registry for his birthday and emailed it to me (from his gmail account, of course).
I think I want to unplug all the devices and go live off the land....
With such salient phrases as "as kids"(as in when we were...) and signed "best wishes"....
So he's made an automated gift registry for his birthday and emailed it to me (from his gmail account, of course).
I think I want to unplug all the devices and go live off the land....
Sunday, November 06, 2005
The mystery ends
We have a 24 year old scarlet macaw - my husband got it a long time ago, long before he knew me. You can't tell a boy scarlet from a girl scarlet without a dna test, and it didn't really matter to us, so we just always referred to the bird as a "him" - his name is Erasmus, and Erasmus was a guy, so it was as good a guess as any.
In the middle of the night (it felt that way, but was probably in that nether space between when/if teenagers go to sleep and when we do), one of our sons burst into our room saying, "Raz laid an egg!"
And he, um, she, did. The now known to be feminine Raz has been sitting on an egg all morning, turning it, and being rather protective of it (scarlet macaws can be dangerous!) She's going to be disappointed as she is our only macaw, so nothing will hatch from that egg. And we don't really need to add to our menagerie, so fixing that problem is not on the agenda.
So now we need to find a girl's name that has a nickname of Raz...
And wonder why after 24 years, this bird would decide to start laying eggs.
In the middle of the night (it felt that way, but was probably in that nether space between when/if teenagers go to sleep and when we do), one of our sons burst into our room saying, "Raz laid an egg!"
And he, um, she, did. The now known to be feminine Raz has been sitting on an egg all morning, turning it, and being rather protective of it (scarlet macaws can be dangerous!) She's going to be disappointed as she is our only macaw, so nothing will hatch from that egg. And we don't really need to add to our menagerie, so fixing that problem is not on the agenda.
So now we need to find a girl's name that has a nickname of Raz...
And wonder why after 24 years, this bird would decide to start laying eggs.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Breaking ground
As I woke up this morning, the radio station was interviewing a professor at the BU medical school who did some breakthrough research in the effects of green tea on cancer cell movement. Yes, I should drink green tea, if I can get over the fact that it tastes like grass...
But that's not what affected me in the interview. They spent an entire 5-10 minutes on *her* groundbreaking in another area - being a female science student in the early 70's. She was one of 3 chemical engineering students in a school in NYC (sorry, it was early and I don't remember the name!) She spoke of being challenged by professors, and given more difficult assignments (the unknown compound she was given to identify in organic lab was a lachrymate).
I started college in the fall of 1972, as a Chemistry major, as the only female out of 17 freshmen in the department. My college, Canisius, had been all male until about 3-4 years before, and I think I was their second female Chemistry major. Overall, the school was still about 80-90% male. So I guess I was an anomaly, but I didn't really focus on that, nor did those around me. If a school is 90% male, it doesn't seem unrealistic to have one major be 95% male. My grades were high because I answered the questions correctly; in science, there's no doubt of that. If I was treated differently, I just didn't notice, and I really don't think I was.
I can't point to the cause, maybe it was being an only child, maybe it was supportive parents, maybe it was that my mother had a college degree as well as my father, but I just have never considered it a possibility that my academic pursuits would be different because my birth announcements were pink instead of blue.
So I don't quite know how to react to hearing interviews like that. My career so far has also been in a traditionally male arena, but only rarely have I encountered anyone assuming I should be bringing them coffee instead of building a product. Maybe the gift my parents gave me was an understanding that any reaction like that was the other person's problem, not mine.
Which brings me back to the fact that if I'm supposed to be one of these women groundbreakers, why are my experiences so different? Why do I not value that experience the way a radio interviewer would? I want to be evaluated by the code I produce, not the amazement that someone of my gender could write it. I am happiest when praised for my work, not that I have done it as a female.
But that's not what affected me in the interview. They spent an entire 5-10 minutes on *her* groundbreaking in another area - being a female science student in the early 70's. She was one of 3 chemical engineering students in a school in NYC (sorry, it was early and I don't remember the name!) She spoke of being challenged by professors, and given more difficult assignments (the unknown compound she was given to identify in organic lab was a lachrymate).
I started college in the fall of 1972, as a Chemistry major, as the only female out of 17 freshmen in the department. My college, Canisius, had been all male until about 3-4 years before, and I think I was their second female Chemistry major. Overall, the school was still about 80-90% male. So I guess I was an anomaly, but I didn't really focus on that, nor did those around me. If a school is 90% male, it doesn't seem unrealistic to have one major be 95% male. My grades were high because I answered the questions correctly; in science, there's no doubt of that. If I was treated differently, I just didn't notice, and I really don't think I was.
I can't point to the cause, maybe it was being an only child, maybe it was supportive parents, maybe it was that my mother had a college degree as well as my father, but I just have never considered it a possibility that my academic pursuits would be different because my birth announcements were pink instead of blue.
So I don't quite know how to react to hearing interviews like that. My career so far has also been in a traditionally male arena, but only rarely have I encountered anyone assuming I should be bringing them coffee instead of building a product. Maybe the gift my parents gave me was an understanding that any reaction like that was the other person's problem, not mine.
Which brings me back to the fact that if I'm supposed to be one of these women groundbreakers, why are my experiences so different? Why do I not value that experience the way a radio interviewer would? I want to be evaluated by the code I produce, not the amazement that someone of my gender could write it. I am happiest when praised for my work, not that I have done it as a female.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Goodbye Samantha
Sam was 15 years and 1 month old, and we have had her since she was a puppy. She was never a brave dog, but she was always very sweet. Today we took her to the vet one last time - it was time to let her go peacefully. I'm sad today, but also glad she is no longer in pain. This picture was taken this morning - she's clearly a tired, old girl. A few years ago you would never have been able to see a picture of her without a tennis ball in her mouth, and I hope they have a fresh can of them ready for her at the Rainbow Bridge.
Long may you run, Sam.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Home again :-)
The demo went well, and after that worry was removed, I had a beautiful day in Paris. The sun was shining, it was warm, and I walked through the Jardins de Tuileries - an amazingly beautiful place full of flowers and incredible statues, fountains with little sailboats in them, a carousel, and children on pony rides. Looking in one direction, I could see the Place de Concorde, down to the Arc de Triomphe; doing a 180, I could see the Louvre and the Arc de Triumphe de Carrousel. Just magically beautiful.
Had a strawberry-filled crepe for lunch sitting on a bridge over the Seine... Wore my feet out in the Louvre, and only managed to see a small fraction of what was there (the Mona Lisa and Winged Victory, of course), but was actually really intrigued by the medieval Louvre and the underlying older sections. Went shopping, but the prices were pretty astronomical, so didn't do too much.
I was tired enough I was going to just grab some food at McDonald's (somehow when I'm alone, I don't really think of eating more formally), but an IM from Brian set me straight... So I had dinner at a little cafe not far from the hotel. And it was much better than McDonald's!
So I guess I'm glad I did this. It was a stressful few weeks preparing, but it was a beautiful day. It was kind of lonely being by myself, but also fairly peaceful - a mother of 6 boys doesn't get time alone very often.
I arrived home yesterday afternoon - and it's also good to be home. And I want to go back someday to see more!
Had a strawberry-filled crepe for lunch sitting on a bridge over the Seine... Wore my feet out in the Louvre, and only managed to see a small fraction of what was there (the Mona Lisa and Winged Victory, of course), but was actually really intrigued by the medieval Louvre and the underlying older sections. Went shopping, but the prices were pretty astronomical, so didn't do too much.
I was tired enough I was going to just grab some food at McDonald's (somehow when I'm alone, I don't really think of eating more formally), but an IM from Brian set me straight... So I had dinner at a little cafe not far from the hotel. And it was much better than McDonald's!
So I guess I'm glad I did this. It was a stressful few weeks preparing, but it was a beautiful day. It was kind of lonely being by myself, but also fairly peaceful - a mother of 6 boys doesn't get time alone very often.
I arrived home yesterday afternoon - and it's also good to be home. And I want to go back someday to see more!
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
je suis arrive
That's probably not quite correct French. After three years in high school and a year in college, I really ought to be more fluent, but I have forgotten much of what I once knew. I can almost read some of the signs, and maybe being here will awaken whatever part of my brain that knowledge once was in - but it is frustrating to feel that I should understand and I really cannot follow a spoken conversation. It's more than possible that data has been overwritten....
The flight was actually nice. I was able to sleep in cat-nap intervals. In between two of the catnaps, I opened up the windowshade and looked out. The big dipper was hanging upside down in the sky. It looked huge, and so much closer than it normally is. I suppose I was 35000 feet closer, but that should not really be significant. But it was beautiful - and I felt a peace looking at the night sky that I have not felt in the past few weeks putting this demo together. I think it is the sense that there is a world around us so much bigger than what seems so huge in our daily lives. Regardless of how the demo goes tomorrow, the big dipper will still light the night sky, and as long as I can see the sky, everything will be all right.
And I really am jet-lagged right now.
The flight was actually nice. I was able to sleep in cat-nap intervals. In between two of the catnaps, I opened up the windowshade and looked out. The big dipper was hanging upside down in the sky. It looked huge, and so much closer than it normally is. I suppose I was 35000 feet closer, but that should not really be significant. But it was beautiful - and I felt a peace looking at the night sky that I have not felt in the past few weeks putting this demo together. I think it is the sense that there is a world around us so much bigger than what seems so huge in our daily lives. Regardless of how the demo goes tomorrow, the big dipper will still light the night sky, and as long as I can see the sky, everything will be all right.
And I really am jet-lagged right now.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Paris in a day
So I've been quiet for a while. Work is eating my life again.
There's an Ellis Paul song called Paris in a Day that keeps running through my head - next week I will be doing a demo in Paris. After the demo, I have about 24 hours in Paris to relax, be a tourist, and maybe shop a little :-) It's hard to decide what to do with 24 hours. After all the work this demo has been, some time is bound to be sleep, but still... Jim Morrison's grave? Le Louvre? Not sure yet. Hard to even think about life beyond the demo.
I get obsessive about things - demos loom large and consume my attention until they are fait accomplis. I hope I can get my brain back soon... Intense focus helps me do my job reasonably well, but it isn't great for a balanced life.
Maybe it will all make sense when I'm drinking a cup of tea on the Champs Elysses. Maybe this cycle of focus will just repeat with the next stress point. Stay tuned.
There's an Ellis Paul song called Paris in a Day that keeps running through my head - next week I will be doing a demo in Paris. After the demo, I have about 24 hours in Paris to relax, be a tourist, and maybe shop a little :-) It's hard to decide what to do with 24 hours. After all the work this demo has been, some time is bound to be sleep, but still... Jim Morrison's grave? Le Louvre? Not sure yet. Hard to even think about life beyond the demo.
I get obsessive about things - demos loom large and consume my attention until they are fait accomplis. I hope I can get my brain back soon... Intense focus helps me do my job reasonably well, but it isn't great for a balanced life.
Maybe it will all make sense when I'm drinking a cup of tea on the Champs Elysses. Maybe this cycle of focus will just repeat with the next stress point. Stay tuned.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
thirty four days
Two days after Dylan left for New Orleans, I mailed three boxes to him. In complete innocence, I labeled them "safe to leave without signature" thinking he would surely be in class when the boxes arrived. Two days after Katrina, I asked if it would be possible to flag the boxes for return, and they said they would try. The first arrived back at the UPS Store I mailed the boxes from today, thirty four days after it was sent. Given that Dylan left New Orleans with a backpack containing only his laptop and three changes of clothes, this box is a welcome return. The other two appear to be taking a more circuitous route, but this one's route was certainly roundabout enough....
9/28/2005 2:37:00 PM DELIVERED US
9/28/2005 7:47:00 AM OUT FOR DELIVERY CHELMSFORD, MA US
9/28/2005 5:45:00 AM OUT FOR DELIVERY CHELMSFORD, MA US
9/27/2005 10:30:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN CHELMSFORD, MA US
9/27/2005 9:34:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/27/2005 3:20:00 PM LOCATION SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/27/2005 3:15:00 PM UNLOAD SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/27/2005 1:12:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/23/2005 11:08:00 AM DEPARTURE SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/22/2005 11:53:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/22/2005 11:40:00 PM UNLOAD SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/22/2005 12:25:00 AM ARRIVAL SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/21/2005 8:40:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN METAIRIE, LA US
9/21/2005 7:37:00 AM LOCATION SCAN METAIRIE, LA US
9/19/2005 11:41:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/16/2005 3:18:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/8/2005 7:34:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/8/2005 3:07:00 PM UNLOAD SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/7/2005 12:05:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN JACKSON, MS US
8/31/2005 1:30:00 PM A DELIVERY CHANGE REQUEST FOR THIS PACKAGE WILL BE PROCESSED;RETURN TO SENDER PENDING NEW ORLEANS, LA US
8/29/2005 3:00:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/29/2005 11:16:00 AM LOCATION SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/29/2005 10:59:00 AM UNLOAD SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/27/2005 1:21:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/25/2005 11:12:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN CHELMSFORD, MA US
8/25/2005 8:07:00 PM ORIGIN SCAN CHELMSFORD, MA US
8/25/2005 5:36:00 PM BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED US
9/28/2005 2:37:00 PM DELIVERED US
9/28/2005 7:47:00 AM OUT FOR DELIVERY CHELMSFORD, MA US
9/28/2005 5:45:00 AM OUT FOR DELIVERY CHELMSFORD, MA US
9/27/2005 10:30:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN CHELMSFORD, MA US
9/27/2005 9:34:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/27/2005 3:20:00 PM LOCATION SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/27/2005 3:15:00 PM UNLOAD SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/27/2005 1:12:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN SHREWSBURY, MA US
9/23/2005 11:08:00 AM DEPARTURE SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/22/2005 11:53:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/22/2005 11:40:00 PM UNLOAD SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/22/2005 12:25:00 AM ARRIVAL SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/21/2005 8:40:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN METAIRIE, LA US
9/21/2005 7:37:00 AM LOCATION SCAN METAIRIE, LA US
9/19/2005 11:41:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/16/2005 3:18:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/8/2005 7:34:00 PM LOCATION SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/8/2005 3:07:00 PM UNLOAD SCAN JACKSON, MS US
9/7/2005 12:05:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN JACKSON, MS US
8/31/2005 1:30:00 PM A DELIVERY CHANGE REQUEST FOR THIS PACKAGE WILL BE PROCESSED;RETURN TO SENDER PENDING NEW ORLEANS, LA US
8/29/2005 3:00:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/29/2005 11:16:00 AM LOCATION SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/29/2005 10:59:00 AM UNLOAD SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/27/2005 1:21:00 PM ARRIVAL SCAN HODGKINS, IL US
8/25/2005 11:12:00 PM DEPARTURE SCAN CHELMSFORD, MA US
8/25/2005 8:07:00 PM ORIGIN SCAN CHELMSFORD, MA US
8/25/2005 5:36:00 PM BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED US
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